122 Funny Quotes About Getting Older

When you’re looking for funny quotes about getting older and wiser or about aging and growing old, you’re at the right place! This article has 122 funny quotes about getting older, which you can use for any upcoming occasion or just to cheer up your day. Ready? Let’s go!

Funny Quotes About Getting Older

Getting older is a natural part of life, and what better way to embrace it than with a sense of humor? This collection of funny quotes about getting older celebrates the humorous side of aging. These witty and lighthearted quotes from various sources are the best antidote to the passing years. Enjoy.

1) “The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.” – Betty White

2) “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” – Bob Hope

3) “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain

4) “The older you get, the more you need to keep a fire extinguisher close to the cake.” – Greg Tamblyn

5) “You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.” – George Burns

6) “The older I get, the more I realize that ‘I don’t know’ is a perfectly acceptable answer to most questions.” – Unknown

7) “You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” – George Burns

8) “I’m not getting older. I’m becoming a classic.” – Unknown

9) “Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night, and the telephone rings, and you hope it isn’t for you.” – Ogden Nash

10) “The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.” – Jerry M. Wright

11) “You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.” – Germaine Greer

12) “As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” – Sir Norman Wisdom

13) “Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.” – Helen Hayes

14) “I’m at the age where food has replaced sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.” – Rodney Dangerfield

15) “Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” – Kitty O’Neill Collins

16) “At my age, I’ve seen it all, done it all, heard it all…I just can’t remember it all.” – Anonymous

17) “Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you’re aboard, there’s nothing you can do.” – Golda Meir

18) “Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.” – Bob Hope

19) “Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art.” – Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

20) “I’m not getting older; I’m increasing in value.” – Unknown

21) “Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.” – Ogden Nash

22) “Age is something that doesn’t matter unless you’re a cheese or a wine.” – Unknown

23) “People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.” George Burns

24) “If I had known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” – Unknown

25) “Getting old is like climbing a mountain; you get a little out of breath, but the view is much better!” Ingrid Bergman

26) “Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.” – Unknown

27) “Getting older means I’ve gathered enough wisdom to give advice to my younger self… who would probably ignore it anyway.” – Unknown

28) “I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.” – Bob Hope

 29) “Age is not how old you are but how many years of fun you’ve had.” – Matt Maldre

30) “The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.” – Madeleine L’Engle

Funny Quotes About Getting Older and Wiser

As another year passes by, birthdays become moments not just for celebration, but also for reflection and wisdom. This collection of funny quotes about getting older and wiser captures the essence of this unique milestone. They’re perfect for adding a touch of laughter and wit to a birthday wish, a funny retirement quote, or simply embracing the humorous side of aging. So, whether you’re seeking a funny birthday message or just a good chuckle, these quotes will bring a smile to your face and highlight the joy of gaining wisdom and experience along the way.

31) “Age is like a fine wine; it only gets better if you have the wisdom to open the bottle.” – Unknown

32) “As I get older, I’ve learned that it’s better to be quiet and let people think you’re wise than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” – Unknown

33) “I may not be getting younger, but I’m definitely getting more entertaining at parties with my ‘wise’ anecdotes.” – Unknown

34) “They say wisdom comes with age. So, I must be the wisest person on the planet by now.” – Unknown

35) “Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

36) “Youth is wasted on the young, but wisdom is wasted on the old.” – George Bernard Shaw

37) “Aging is a collection of experiences and life lessons that give you wisdom.” – Unkown

38) “Laughter is timeless. Imagination has no age. And dreams are forever.” – Walt Disney

39) “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” – Woody Allen

40) “With age comes wisdom, but sometimes age comes alone.” – Oscar Wilde

41) “They say wisdom is knowing what to do; I say wisdom is knowing what not to do… and then doing it anyway for the sake of a good story.” – Unknown

42) “I used to think I was wise until I realized I still microwave food with the plastic wrap on.” – Unknown

43) “Do not try to live forever, you will not succeed.” – George Bernard Shaw

44) “Age is not a guarantee of wisdom, but it does increase the probability of having a good collection of embarrassing stories.” – Unknown

45) “The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes.” – Frank Lloyd Wright

46) “Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.” – John Lennon

47) “The wiser mind mourns less for what age takes away than what it leaves behind.” – William Wordsworth

48) He who is of a calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age, but to him who is of an opposite disposition, youth and age are equally a burden.” – Plato

49) “A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.” John Barrymore

50) “With age comes wisdom, but sometimes it takes a few decades of making the same mistake before the wisdom kicks in.” – Unknown

51) “At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” – Ann Landers

52) “Try to keep your soul young and quivering right up to old age.” – George Sand

53) The wisest are the most annoyed at the loss of time.” – Dante Alighieri

54) “Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art.” – Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

55) “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” Larry Lorenzoni

56) “My physical body may be less efficient and less beautiful in old age. But God has given me an enormous compensation: my mind is richer my Soul is broader and my wisdom is at a peak. I am so happy with the riches of my advanced peak age that, contrary to Faust, I would not wish to return to youth.” – Robert Muller

57) “I used to make fun of my elders for their wisdom, but now I envy them… because I still can’t figure out how to set the clock on my microwave.” – Unknown

58) “Age doesn’t necessarily make you wiser; it just gives you more time to make bigger mistakes.” – Unknown

59) “Wisdom is knowing that you can’t fit all your knowledge into a single brain, so you better start writing things down.” – Unknown

60) “I used to think I was wise, but then I realized I still use a calculator to figure out how much to tip at a restaurant.” – Unknown

Growing Old Quotes

As the years go by, we embark on a journey of growing older, each day bringing new experiences and perspectives. In this collection of growing older quotes, we explore the profound and thought-provoking insights that accompany the passage of time.

61) “Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.” – Ben Franklin

62) “Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.”- Franz Kafka

63) “Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.” – Walt Disney

 64) “Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.” – Theodore Roosevelt

65) “Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven’t committed.” – Anthony Powell

66) “We don’t grow older, we grow riper.” – Pablo Picasso

67) “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be.” ∼ Robert Browning

68) “I’m so old they’ve canceled my blood type.” – Bob Hope

69) “Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes

70) “I’m so old, I remember when emojis were called ‘hieroglyphics’.” – Unknown

71) “You’re not old until you start blaming your farts on the dog.” – Unknown

72) “Too many people, when they get old, think that they have to live by the calendar.” – John Glenn

73) “Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age.” – Booth Tarkington

74) “The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you’ll grow out of it.” – Doris Day

75) “I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.” – Bob Hope

76) “Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” – Maggie Kuhn

77) “There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” – Sophia Loren

78) “Old age isn’t so bad if you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier

79) “Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied by many” – Mark Twain

80) “Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.” – David Bowie

81) “Old age is not a matter for sorrow. It is a matter for thanks if we have left our work done behind us.” – Thomas Carlyle

82) “The first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest.” – Unknown

83) “Age is an opportunity no less than youth itself.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Funny Quotes On Aging

In the realm of aging, humor becomes a cherished companion. These funny quotes on aging and also beauty capture the lighter side of growing older, offering a chuckle-filled perspective on the journey, from witty one-liners to clever observations. Enjoy the humor, and let it brighten your day!

84) “I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to.” – Albert Einstein

85) “I’m not aging, I’m marinating.” – Unknown

86) “Aging gracefully is like the nice way of saying you’re slowly looking worse.” – Unknown

87) “Age is like underwear. It creeps up on you.” – Unknown

88) “Age is not how old you are, but how many years of fun you’ve had.” – Matt Maldre

89) “Age is just a number, and mine is unlisted.” – Unkown

90) “When you’re young, you have the face you were born with. When you’re older, you have the face you deserve.” – Coco Chanel

91) “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball

92) “I’m at an age where my back goes out more than I do.” – Phyllis Diller

93) “I don’t need an anti-aging cream. I need a ‘reverse-aging’ cream.” – Unknown

94) “I’m not aging, I’m increasing in value.” – Unknown

95) “Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.” – Coco Chanel

96) “Beauty is not who you are on the outside, it is the wisdom and time you gave away to save another struggling soul like you.” – Shannon L. Alder

97) “Regarding aging, women held to a different standard than men. Some guy said to me: ‘Don’t you think you’re too old to sing rock n’ roll?’ I said: ‘You’d better check with Mick Jagger’.” – Cher

98) “My face carries all my memories. Why would I erase them?” – Diane Von Furstenberg

99) “Aging is not ‘lost youth,’ but a new stage of opportunity and strength.” – Betty Friedan

100) “Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.” – Mark Twain

101) “Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.” – Kahlil Gibran

102) “I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.” – George Burns

103) “There is a beauty in age that transcends physical appearance. It’s the beauty of wisdom, experience, and grace.” – Unknown

104) “Aging is a privilege denied to many, so embrace it with gratitude and love.” – Unknown

105) “Aging gracefully is not about trying to recapture your youth, but about embracing the changes and confidently carrying yourself through each stage of life.” – Unknown

106) “True beauty is timeless; it transcends age and defies societal standards.” – Unknown

107) “As we age, our beauty doesn’t fade; it evolves and takes on a different form, reflecting the depth of our experiences and the wisdom we’ve gained.” – Unknown

108) “Aging is a natural process, and the lines on our faces are the imprints of a life well-lived.” – Unknown

109) “Beauty has no expiration date; it flourishes and evolves with every passing year.” – Unknown

110) “Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.” – Tom Stoppar

111) “Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up.” – John Wagner

Funny Quotes About Old Age And Forgetfulness

Growing older comes with its fair share of humorous moments, especially when it comes to the topic of forgetfulness. This collection of funny quotes about old age and forgetfulness celebrates the amusing side of memory lapses and senior moments.

112) “I’m not old; I’m chronologically gifted… with occasional memory loss.” – Unknown

113) “I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke off.” – Unknown

114) “The older I get, the more I appreciate the ‘delete history’ button in my browser… if only life had one too.” – Unknown

115) “My memory is so good, I can’t remember things that never happened.” – Unknown

116) “I may be getting older, but I refuse to get more responsible for remembering things.” – Unknown

117) “You know you’re getting old when ‘bingo’ and ‘bingo wings’ mean completely different things.” – Unknown

118) “The advantage of growing old is that you can blame your forgetfulness on ‘senior moments’ and everyone will understand… except you.” – Unknown

119) “I used to remember everything, and now I have to rely on my phone to remind me to charge my phone.” – Unknown

120) “My forgetfulness has reached a level where I can hide my own Easter eggs… and never find them.” – Unknown

121) “I have a memory like an elephant… unfortunately, it’s the memory of an elephant with Alzheimer’s.” – Unknown

122) “Forgetfulness is nature’s way of telling you to take more selfies… because at least then you’ll remember what you look like.” – Unknown

Getting Older Quotes | Frequently Asked Questions

What is a good quote about old age?

A good quote about old age is: “Aging is not ‘lost youth,’ but a new stage of opportunity and strength.” – Betty Friedan

What is a short quote about aging?

A short quote about aging is: “Aging is a privilege denied to many.” – Mark Twain

Why is growing old beautiful?

Growing old is beautiful because it is a testament to a life well-lived, filled with experiences, wisdom, and personal growth. It allows us to appreciate the journey we’ve traveled, cherish the memories we’ve made, and embrace the opportunity to continue evolving and discovering new aspects of ourselves.

What is a good inspirational quote about getting older?

A good inspirational quote about getting older is: “Age is an opportunity no less than youth itself.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Kirsten Veldman

Since 2017, my husband and I have been location-independent retirees. With hundreds of articles written, I'm passionate about helping other retirees!

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